How The Women's March Helped Me Find My Voice
The video below is the morning of Election Day, Tuesday, November 8th. Hope was still greatly felt in the air. Along with a heavy blanket of anxiety produced from simply not knowing what our future would look like.
I went on to teach a yoga class that evening, at that point noticing the anxiety within myself. Perhaps I got from absorbing it in the air it was so thick that day. I generally ask everyone how they're feeling before starting class, nobody usually says anything at all, usually complete silence. That day, several folks yelled out, "I'm SO stressed out", "I'm Anxious!", I even got an "I'm scared!" that day...Wow, what a day to teach yoga. I felt like I had a real duty that day to help these folks who have been affected so greatly. All of us still did not know what the outcome would be as our class was before any announcements had been made. I tried to remind everyone that this yoga class is precious self-care time that we have all carved out time for today. To own that time that you've made for yourself by focusing on your breath, your body, and giving yourSelf some love. At the end I shared one of my favorite quotes:
Absolute Uncertainty by Bija Bennett
Certainty. That really means: Inevitable result, forgone conclusion, and sure thing. When we feel uncertain in life we tend to grab for something to hold onto that feels certain. When we desire certainty in our lives we can fix ourselves on an outcome or hold onto a given boundary. We can notice how that fixing and holding feels inside the body. Find out, what would it be like to go deep inside and just breathe for a moment. Lower the bucket into the well and see what comes up. Feel the breath surrounding the tension of your grasp. It's true that letting go is frightening. But so what? TRUST YOURSELF. BREAK THE BOUNDARIES. AND DIVE INTO ABSOLUTE UNCERTAINTY. Throw it all into the air with your breath. Because whatever you really need will come back and whatever you don't will just drift away.
As I was surrounded by family and friends to receive the results of the election I felt this overwhelming feeling of guilt come over me for even trying to make those people in my yoga class feel better- after hearing the results. I felt like I had kind of fooled them into believing that we would all get a decent result. Which got me to thinking about how much I have spoken up about what I believe in and what I'm doing for my beliefs. Besides short and sweet conversations with close friends where neither of us is really even trying to talk about it. NONE. I haven't said ONE thing about the election, about protecting our water, about my own personal highs and lows, about truth & justice. This feeling like I couldn't speak my truth was taking over, and I was sitting back watching it all happen. This feeling I'm calling, Spiritual Strep Throat. I'm happy to share there have been a series of positive events to lead me back to my voice- bit by bit and song by song.
The Women's March
The event that has so far made the biggest change in my being was yesterday's Women's March on D.C. We attended the march in San Francisco in solidarity with our DC sisters and brothers. We prepared by painting our signs containing messages that we truly believed in (and puppies!)